Hello April!

In just 10 more weeks, half of 2009 will be over. I will then be officially 25. Damn.

Recently, I have been talking to people about bridesmaids. Oo
Basically, I have been thinking about the future. A lot. I quite like what I envisioned. :D

We are like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle; the longer you spend time doing it, the better it gets.



You make me smile.

Annoyed

Why can't I just conduct my lessons the way I want? Yes, they are not exceptionally good, but at least I'm comfortable with it. Yet, somebody is expecting more from me. I feel like telling her that it is just not my style and I don't really care if my grades are gonna suck because I am lousy in CL and MI strategies. I just want to be me!

I know I'm going to be in so much trouble if I offend her. But somehow my stubborn personality is just not willing to do something just to please someone. I just wanna pass.

Sometimes I wonder, why can't I put in more effort? Then I realise, I'm really just a lousy person. I don't want anything too troublesome. I will put in enough effort to make things go smoothly, or rather, to have it not too out of my way.

Please let this horrible 10 weeks be over soon.

Sigh

This must be the most boring holiday I ever had. 1 week flew past just like that. Wasted!

I really want this practicum to be over soon. It gives me a very bad feeling. For the first time since I started teaching, I actually dread going to work. I hate being supervised so closely. Still, I am thankful for the short official working hours.



So stuck on you.

I Certainly Hope So

The Eagles - Love Will Keep Us Alive

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Nowadays, when I look at my dad, I always feel that slightest bit of heartache. I wanna go over, put my arms around him and say "I love you". I love to see him smile yet I don't get to see it often. I wanna make him happy yet I don't know how to, other than fulfilling his wishes as soon as possible. I worry about him, the way he worries about me, yet I don't know how to express my care and concern. I wanna take care of him when he's sick, pamper him with massages, accompany him more when I still can. So, why do things turn out so differently?

I remember how he used to carry me on his shoulders whenever he comes back from work. I remember how angry he was with the maid when I slipped and fell down hard on the butt because the floor had just been mopped (I was warned but I ran across the wet floor anyways). I remember how he immediately brought me to the doctor's when he saw my badly wounded knee (I was chasing after bus 135 when I tripped in front of everybody, my face barely an inch away from kissing the ground. I was 14.) I remember the foot massages he gave me when I was sick during childhood, in a bid to make me sleep. I remember how pained he was when I was heartbroken for the first time. I remember ...

When did this closeness end? When did we become so shy towards each other? Is it because I'm no longer your little girl?

I flare up whenever my mum bullies my dad. I feel that strong urge to protect him and stand up for him. Eventually, for trying to show my love for my dad, I behave nastily to my mum. I feel guilty for being the daughter that I am.

Dad, come what may, I will always be your little girl.


What a cheesy post.

Random

I was thinking what can I talk about other than posting about my work. I realised, there is none, really.

Despite not having any interesting stuff to share, I still wanna blog. Just because I feel like it.

Nowadays it has become so unbelievably mundane, that we tend to behave like my parents. Well, not exactly but close. Obviously, something needs to be done and I think I have to start with me.

I have just eaten yesterday's food for lunch and feeling quite low because my Sunday is gonna be spent doing lesson plan .

What a wonderful life.



Sleepy...