Dark circles

A decade ago, I used to cry whenever they quarrelled. I would hide inside my room, afraid to go outside as though the voices were monsters. I would just be listening to the screaming voices. Paralysed, for as long as the quarrel could last. With every pause, I would hope that it's the end and prayed. With every start, my heart would sink and sometimes, I just forget to breathe.

Half a decade ago, I started to feel numb. I began to wish that they were living separately. I couldn't see the point of them staying together since they seemed to hate each other so much. I would be glad and relieved if my sister wasn't at home when it happened. Because then, she wouldn't had to go through what I went through. I started to prefer staying out late so that the chances of me hearing the screaming voices were reduced to a minimum.

Now, I'm numb to it. I'm just plain glad that my sister is away. I laugh at how they can argue about such trivialities. Unwittingly, they have shaped me into what I am today. I run and hide, as it's always easier. I hate arguments and I will do anything to make things alright, even if it meant self-sacrificing. I asked myself why and realised, it's because I want to mend other cracks that I think I can, because there is already a crack that can't be mended.