Fear

Let me digress a while before telling you the real thing: Damn. My appeal was rejected. Another $50 to be added to Singapore's revenue. Double damn.

My main concern: As you all know, I'm going for my virgin dive next friday. I had my second (and supposedly last) pool session last night and it was horrible. You know how people say, when things go wrong, blame yourself, not others. I found out last night that I could easily lose my life during that trip and I would not have anyone to blame but myself. The drills that I'm supposed to master aren't difficult at all. But for some reason or other, I screwed up. Big time. I did a fatal move not once, not twice, but thrice. I can say that it's basic instinct but really, it's no excuse. I knew I should never do that. What can I say? My incompetencies. Maybe it's true. My attitude towards learning this is wrong from the start. I wasn't serious and treated it as a game. I knew he'll be my buddy and I'd be safe in his hands. In actual fact, he can only look out for me this much, and if anything happens, I've to save myself. It's my responsibility.

So now, I'm going (have to) for a third pool session. Hopefully, by then, my fear and anxiety would have been overcome by excitement and anticipation.

People, pray for me.



The price.